Stephen King, On Writing- the tool box

The great thing about Stephen King is that he’s completely unpretentious, knows how to engage the reader and make us smile. And, boy, could I do with smiling right now, as my personal life spirals ever deeper into soap opera territory! My posse of self-harming, suicidally depressed and anorexic adopted kids live out the perennial debate of nature versus nurture on a daily basis. So, thank you, Stephen King!

All writers are readers, in my experience, and Stephen King suggests we all have a favourite place. Mine is to be curled up on the leather sofa with a good fire going, so that I feel cosy and safe. He adds: `Reading in bed can be heaven, you can get just the right amount of light on the page and aren’t prone to spilling your coffee or cognac on the sheets.’ I have one word to say to that: crumbs! The only thing I don’t like about reading and snacking in bed (a wonderful combination!)

When you transition from reader to reader/writer, Stephen King advises that: `it behoves you to construct your own toolbox… Common tools go on top. The commonest of all, the bread of writing, is vocabulary. In this case, you can happily pack what you have without the slightest bit of guilt and inferiority. As the whore said to the bashful sailor, `It ain’t how much you’ve got, honey, it’s how you use it.’ So- never use long words when a short one will do.

Grammar also belongs on the top shelf of the tool box- `and don’t annoy me with your moans of exasperation’. As he reminds us, bad grammar makes for confusion and misunderstanding. He cites an example from Strunk and White (`The Elements of Style’): `As a mother of five, with another one on the way, my ironing board is always up.’ In conclusion, `Grammar is not just a pain in the ass; it’s the pole you grab to get your thoughts up on their feet and walking.’

He is not the first writer to advise against using passive verbs, but he is, perhaps, the first to venture a theory as to why so many (bad) writers tend to use passive construction: `for the same reason timid lovers like passive partners. The passive voice is safe.’

The other piece of advice he gives before moving on to the next level of the tool box is: The adverb is not your friend. `The road to hell is paved with adverbs’- especially the adverb in dialogue attribution, eg `Go away!’ she shouted menacingly. He also cautions against `shooting the attribution verb full of steroids’. One example he gives is: `Never stop kissing me!’ Shayna gasped.

I will finish this blog with his insights on paragraphs: `Paragraphs are almost as important for how they look as for what they say; they are maps of intent.’ He adds: `The single-sentence paragraph more closely resembles talk than writing, and that’s good. Writing is seduction.  Good talk is part of seduction.’

So now I’m going to take the last remaining pages of Emma Healey’s wonderful `Elizabeth is Missing’ to bed with me-

with some Rich Tea biscuits for dunking.